Navigating Holiday Hype: PCIT-Inspired Tips for Regulating Your Child's Behavior

Alissa Hansen, MSW, LCSW
Nov 7
3 min read

The holiday season is a wonderful time, but let's be honest—it’s also a giant whirlwind of disruption! New schedules, crowded gatherings, different foods, and unfamiliar environments can be a recipe for dysregulation in children, particularly those who are neurodivergent or have Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD).

As a specialist in early childhood mental health and Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT), I want to equip you with strategies to keep your family grounded, connected, and minimize meltdowns during this festive time.

Family Gathered Around Table for Thanksgiving Meal

Harnessing PCIT Concepts for Holiday Harmony

PCIT is an evidence-based approach that focuses on strengthening the parent-child relationship and teaching positive behavior management skills. Here’s how its core concepts apply to holiday stress, with an emphasis on documentation and clarity:

1. Prioritize Special Time (Child-Directed Interaction - CDI)

The first phase of PCIT focuses on strengthening the relationship through Praise, Reflection, Imitation, Description, and Enjoyment (PRIDE) skills. When life is busy, these moments often disappear, which is exactly when your child needs them most!

The Strategy: Write Down the Plan: Create a simple "Connection Calendar". Write down or print a weekly calendar and physically mark the scheduled 5-10 minute Special Time slot for each day.
The Benefit: This dedicated, positive attention "fills their bucket." Writing it down ensures that this critical relationship time isn't forgotten amidst the rush and reinforces the importance of predictability for your child.

2. Establish Predictability and Structure (Even Amidst Chaos)

The holidays are inherently unpredictable, a major trigger for anxiety and dysregulation in neurodivergent children.

The Strategy: Write Down Expectations and Schedule:
- The Plan as a Contract: To ensure consistency and reduce anxiety, write down the expectations and the schedule. This act models commitment from the parent and gives the plan a sense of permanency. It serves as an objective reference point for both you and your child, preventing arguments about what was decided.
- Use Visual Schedules: Create a simple, visual schedule for the day’s events (e.g., "Breakfast > Drive to Grandma's > Open Presents > Quiet Time"). Use images or photos alongside the text. These written plans can also be shared with extended family members beforehand so everyone is on the same page.
- Pre-Teach: Before a big event, review the written plan together. Talk about the expected behaviors ("We will use quiet inside voices").

3. Proactive Sensory Planning

For children with SPD, holiday sensory input can be overwhelming (loud music, strong smells, itchy clothes, bright lights, crowds).

The Strategy: Write Down the Sensory Game Plan: Before leaving, write down the sensory supports that are being packed and the location of the Safe Space.
- The Written Cue Card: Create a small cue card or note that lists 2-3 coping skills the child can use (e.g., "Ask for headphones," "Go to Safe Space," "Use Fidget Toy"). This makes the supports concrete and accessible when the child is too overwhelmed to think clearly.
- The Safe Space Agreement: Write down the designated "Safe Space" at the location and agree on the length of time allowed there (e.g., "10 minutes of Quiet Time in the Library").

4. Use Effective Directions and Consequences (Parent-Directed Interaction - PDI)

When dysregulated behavior (whining, defiance, aggression) does occur, PCIT teaches using clear, calm steps.

The Strategy: Write Down the PDI Rules: PCIT success relies on consistency. Before the busy season, write down the hierarchy of effective commands and the chosen consequence (e.g., Time-Out procedure).
- The Family Rule List: Create a simple list of 3-5 non-negotiable family rules (e.g., "We use gentle hands," "We follow directions the first time"). Post this list in your home and take a photo of it to reference privately if needed during a gathering.
- Consistency Check: Writing down the consequence protocol ensures that both parents/caregivers are implementing the same exact steps, maintaining the consistency that is crucial for effective behavior management.

5. Don't Forget Self-Care

You can’t pour from an empty cup—especially during the holidays. Your emotional regulation is your child's guide.

The Strategy: Write Down Your Needs: Schedule and write down your own self-care moments just as you would any other important appointment. This holds you accountable to your own well-being.
- (Example: "Dec. 24th, 8:00 AM: 15 minutes of quiet coffee/meditation.")
- Lowered Expectations: Write down two things you are giving yourself permission to not do this holiday season (e.g., "I will not bake 5 different types of cookies," "I will not clean the house before guests arrive").

The holidays are about connection, not perfection. By using these PCIT-inspired tools—prioritizing positive time together, ensuring predictability, planning for sensory needs, and using clear commands—and by writing down and committing to these strategies, you can help your child navigate the excitement and disruption with greater success and enjoyment.

I have created a simple downloadable checklist detailing these strategies